Adversity is a quality often emphasized in discourse about the sinister path. But what life experiences “count” as adversity? This entry doesn’t aim at a complete answer, but does seek to make two points. Firstly, adversity can take many forms – including forms that many people are unhelpfully trained to dismiss as “not real adversity.” Secondly, certain distinctive elements of the sinister path can be no less relevant to overcoming these forms of adversity than they are to overcoming “harder” kinds of adversity. This entry thus bears upon the question of how Tenebrous Satanism constructively extends the salience of a “sinister” mindset beyond the narrowly-envisioned extremism more typical of Order of Nine Angles (ONA/O9A) practitioners. It also touches quite personally on why I myself have found this path meaningful.

Introduction

What is life “for”? While one can say “nothing,” such nihilism does not strike me as useful. As a Tenebrous Satanist, I instead assert that what Darkness seeks through enfleshed experience is Adventure – i.e., novelty, diversity, and the overcoming of adversity. Entering into the causal realm subjects spirit to a conditioned state, wherein it must contend with limitation. Overcoming such obstructions – finding ways to do-and-experience more, despite obstacles – is an essential driver of self-evolution.

Tenebrous Satanism therefore sees adversity as only as negative as the sufferer allows it to be. Experiencing adversity is, one might say, one of the things that Darkness is “here (in material existence) for”. Life isn’t meant to be an experience entailing no adversity, since no adversity means no evolutionary pressure. Conversely, the tendency for O9A practices (e.g. physical challenges, living primitively, enduring an insight role, etc.) to introduce greater adversity into one’s life, which one must then cope with, can be constructive so long as the practitioner does evolve in response (rather than, say, using O9A as an excuse for mere thrill-seeking).

Now, I don’t think anyone would deny that things like serious illness, bereavement, surviving warfare, etc. “count” as “adversity.” One might ask, though: if a person is healthy, materially-comfortable, has no major issues with family/friends/spouses, etc., does this lack of adversity inherently produce stagnancy? To someone in the hardcore Satanic milieu, “well, no: everyone still experiences some adversity” may seem an insufferably breezy response.

This entry therefore explores two questions. One, what are some forms in which adversity finds even the comfortable and privileged – myself included? And two, how might a Satanic perspective on adversity promote self-evolution even in such contexts?

Structure

This entry will first unpack three things that I would argue can introduce underestimated adversities into one’s life:

• A sheltered upbringing
• High-functioning mental deviance
• Saturation in disempowering ideological narratives

My argument in each case is that actually, each of these factors tends to produce a double helping of adversity. The first helping stems from how the thing itself causes a more pervasive amount of living in daily fear, frustration, etc. than many realize. The second helping proceeds from how certain worldviews lead people to be rudely dismissive toward the notion that these conditions can cause serious suffering. The end product is someone experiencing ongoing existential angst while at the same time feeling like their suffering is invalid and no one cares.

Each issue is of course distinct from the other two. Nonetheless, all can produce similar states of entrapment in fear and self-hatred – i.e., an experience not unlike that of being brainwashed into a dysfunctional right-hand-path religion. Satanism critiques such religions and offers an empowering alternative. Therefore, it can speak to these cases as well. Such is the argument that the latter part of this post presents.

What this post is not arguing

I think open-minded readers will be amenable to arguments I make in this post. However, I anticipate hostility from certain folks who also form part of this blog’s audience. So before proceeding, I just want to say something to such individuals:

This post is not arguing that overcoming “lesser” adversities is “the same as” whatever feat of O9A badassery. The initiation tasks O9A stipulates offer specific experiences that obviously “I got through a hard time” is not equivalent to. I would just as readily say too that the initiation tasks of Tenebrous Satanism have specific aims not replaceable by other forms of adversity.

The argument, however, is that when people feel trapped in particular ways – i.e., regardless of whether other people might sneer “they have it easy” – our form of Satanism can offer something critical in breaking them out of that mental prison.

My interest is thus in making self-evolution more accessible to all. If your priority, by contrast, is wearing “Satanism” as a badge of elite specialness, and you’re mad because this post’s perspective isn’t aligned with that, I suggest you go cry somewhere else. Come back when you’ve developed some actual empathy (yes, it’s a Satanic value) for people whose struggles differ from your own.

Underestimated aggravators of adversity

A sheltered upbringing

The idea here is that insufficient encounters with adversity in childhood can create difficulties in encountering it as an adult.

This is not to say that it’s a bad thing to have a “good” childhood. A supportive upbringing instills traits useful amid adversity, such as self-confidence and the ability to trust a support network.

But some forms of unhelpful sheltering include:

1. Always doing things for the child so that it’s done correctly, instead of letting the child learn from mistakes.
2. Failing to instill the concept of “practice to get better,” producing a child who gives up on anything that’s “hard”.
3. Framing small injuries as something terrible that deserves attention (e.g., “poor little girl!”) instead of mere momentary discomfort (e.g., “get up big guy!”).

As some may guess from that last point’s phrasing, I believe many of these are especially problems of female upbringing. But that is not at all to say that males can’t have this kind of upbringing too. Either way, it can cause such issues as:

1. Criticism or failure seeming catastrophically worse than they really are.
2. Losing out on experiences due to fear of negative outcomes.
3. Dwelling on difficulties in a way that others see as “attention whoring” without being aware it comes across this way.

So re: the “double” effect I mentioned: firstly, inevitably adversity finds everyone – a rude awakening for these types when it does. Secondly though, those not similarly-sheltered are prone to react with “you’re too sensitive/privileged/etc. to little things”. (The real “hilarity” is when these types’ parents do this to them as adults…) Together, these produce a person strongly motivated to avoid adversity. As a result, they never get better at dealing with it when it comes.

High-functioning mental deviance

By “high-functioning,” I mean people who seem normal to most observers. And by “mental deviance,” I mean that privately, there’s some neurological or psychological difficulty they exert energy to overcome. I’m construing this broadly to include:

• Neurodivergence / autism spectrum.
• Personality disorders such as borderline.
• Depression / anxiety, regardless of originating cause.
• Various other forms of mental illness.
• Physical medical conditions with rare psychological dimensions – e.g., you are not just any person with celiac, but this specific person.

So re: the “double” effect I mentioned: firstly, any of these can create difficulties with motivation, navigating social situations, etc. This can in turn impact holding down a job, maintaining relationships, and so on. Secondly though, we have ignorant people reacting to such difficulties with “well, just don’t be that way, then”. Or, perhaps they’re supportive to your face, but post memes implying your existence is a burden.

Now, the nature of Satanism is such that any Satanic blog will have some social Darwinist members in the audience. I’ll therefore be forthright with such people: I personally think that worldview is trash. IMO, a truly “strong” society should be able to maturely acknowledge human frailty and care for those suffering from it. Vs. “the weak should perish” both squanders other potentialities “the weak” may possess (think of Stephen Hawking), and arrogantly neglects the possibility that you or your loved ones may one day need care too.

Funny how certain people who define themselves as noble and hate a certain demographic for being “stingy” often hold the most obnoxiously stingy views in this regard…

But enough with my stereotypically-Canadian view of social welfare. 😉 My central point is that insofar as the world is harder for the “mentally deviant” to navigate, it’s even harder still if people around them are being assholes about it.

Saturation in disempowering ideological narratives

Some may be thinking, “the preceding section’s issue sounds like a hanging-out-with-right-wingers problem”. So for fairness, here comes something I associate more with left-wingers.

Imagine a social circle harboring these sorts of beliefs:

1. Locking doors and having guns at home means you “live in fear”, which is “not cool”.
2. Offering any kind of advice on avoiding sexual assault is “blaming the victim”.
3. Anyone who fails to interact with you in the specific ways our ideology prescribes is thereby disrespecting your identity category.
4. Any interpretation of events and experiences that differs from our ideology’s interpretation is a forbidden heresy.

For a sensitive (sheltered? neurodivergent?) individual, these beliefs all carry dysfunctional implications:

1. You are a bad person if you have a realistic cynicism toward people rather than utopian idealism.
2. Taking any kind of initiative to protect yourself or improve your life somehow takes away from the collective struggle.
3. All non-telepathic people are constantly victimizing you.
4. Everything is evidence that the world hates you and things are always getting worse.

Now upon thinking about it, this one I think actually has a “triple” effect. Firstly, we have someone who is marginalized in some way, and/or concerned about the marginalized – yes, marginalization is adversity. Secondly, the worldview by which they navigate marginalization chimes in, “here are even more things you should feel helpless about.” Thirdly, raising issues with that worldview could alienate everyone the worldview has taught them to place their sole trust in.

There is a Dogmagian pattern here wherein the parallels between the above and “cult brainwashing” should be evident. In both cases, I feel it’s surely obvious that yes, that person is suffering adversity. And in both cases, sneering “well you should have realized and picked better friends” doesn’t help anyone.

Where these issues form a nexion

What do the three kinds of adversity I mentioned above have in common, despite their differences?

• A significant part of the “adversity” stems from issues with social navigation and hurt feelings. If you accept on any level that humans are social animals, I think you must grant, by virtue of that, that yes, these are “real” adversities.
• The problem is made harder for the individual on account of being surrounded by people who think they “should” have an easier time than they’re having – e.g., oblivious relatives, dismissive conservatives, dogmatic progressives, etc.
• Blaming the person for the issue is like blaming them for being human at all – i.e., just trying to make friends and get things done here, sorry for existing (sarcasm).
• Nonetheless, it is ultimately up to that individual to overcome the issue insofar as they are able. And to do this, they must swim upstream against much of what their previous life experience has taught them.

The personal angle

Here is where I admit: I have struggled with my own versions of much of what I’ve described above.

I was the child so cautious that “don’t touch the stove” meant “don’t go near it even if it’s off.” For much of my youth I avoided exercise because I mistook any sign of exertion for an asthma attack.

My parents have said, “we always thought you had Aspergers, but we never got you help because you seemed fine.” I have celiac, manifesting as gluten psychosis (though thankfully never to the point that women in the linked article had!).

Being mixed-race, I have both white supremacists hating my non-whiteness and dogmatic leftists calling out my “white privilege”. I spent a considerable portion of the 2010’s fearing that further-left co-workers and acquaintances might decide I was not-far-left-enough to deserve having a career, social belonging, and so on. “Friends” consistently acted as if I was ignorant or ideologically-suspect to worry about this (impervious to the idea that maybe such worries could point to a pathological side to their cherished ideology), thus alienating me even further.

I could list more along these lines if I wanted. But this isn’t to say “poor me,” as obviously others have it worse in many ways. Rather, I am just giving a taste of the things in my life that Tenebrous Satanism has helped me overcome.

And there would be no Tenebrous Satanism without O9A. So what is it in the sinister tradition that’s helped me cope with my issues?

How could O9A possibly help?

One of the things O9A offers is something all credible forms of Satanism offer: Satanism, in general, is an ideology that says “yes life is unfair, but you still have to advocate for yourself.” And then proceeds to offer philosophical and esoteric tools that actually help with that.

In O9A’s Satanic Points, we see the balancing of “what does not kill makes stronger” with “take a short rest, better than a long.” The latter is a more realistic admission that strength and will have limits than I’ve seen in, say, LaVeyan Satanism. There is also O9A more-strongly encouraging you to actually get fit than other Satanisms do – i.e., no more “asthma” for me these days.

I think though that the most distinctive trait of O9A’s relevant to adversity-overcoming is its take on transgression. There’s a confronting-danger angle to this that’s relevant to shelteredness. And there’s a reject-Magian-fear-mongering angle relevant to my specific mental deviance and ideological entrapment issues.

Unpacking what I mean requires some personal anecdotes, so bear with me through what follows.

Confronting “danger”

Prior to 2019, I had an extreme lifelong aversion to “being out at night for no good reason”. It’s embarrassing to admit now that I’m over it, but my sheltered upbringing had convinced me that if I wandered around at night needlessly, I’d for-sure be assaulted and that would be my fault, regardless of my living in a safe area etc.

Amid growing influence from O9A texts, though, I designed a multi-night initiation that required me to break this taboo. The seriousness of this was comical in retrospect, e.g., I wrote a will in case something happened to me. On the third night, I had a bad scare, as this past entry alludes to. But I still persisted with the final night to complete it.

The first Nythra contact happened shortly after.

I conclude that the “only illegal things count as real transgression” take of certain Niners is simple-minded. My experience rather suggests that each individual creates their own mental world, and if in your mental world, you are genuinely confronting terror by breaking what your psyche has internalized as an absolute law, that can still create the right energetic conditions for acausal contact – regardless of whether this seems laughable to others.

Again, I am not saying it is “the same” as the actually-illegal things that other O9A folks have done. But I think an interesting and unexpected insight emerges here: perhaps, insofar as the sheltered person has a very low “transgression threshold,” they can actually leverage that “sensitivity” of theirs that everyone’s been bashing toward some unexpectedly sinister purposes…

Rejecting Magian fear-mongering

The lunar eclipse of June 2020 was when I performed the ritual precipitating the writing of my book. In said ritual, one thing I asked the Dark Gods for was liberation from the ideology I’d absorbed from my academic and social circles, which had made me paranoid and miserable. Subsequently, studying Spengler, I found the consensus-seeking of “Magianism” reminiscent of dynamics I’d observed in that so-called “progressivism”. This insight soon developed into Nine Keys’ take on “Magian” – or more precisely, “Dogmagian.” I thereby gained a foundation that gave me confidence to articulate two insights to myself:

• While progressives present themselves as more sympathetic toward mental deviance than conservatives, this is only surface-deep. They sympathize with your introversion only until you admit that due to crowd-anxiety, you can’t go to their protest. And they preach mental health awareness, then unleash 20 posts of “exhaust yourself worrying about (trendy cause), or you’re bad!” I at last saw this hypocrisy, and became ruthless at cutting off that discourse from the “friends” propagating it.
• While much of feminism is valid, some parts of it have interacted badly with my sheltered upbringing – e.g., see above re: rape paranoia. Queer theory makes some valid points, but its online manifestations breed histrionic nonsense that helps nobody. And some of the left’s racial discourse is scarcely less toxic toward mixed-race people than the right’s. In short, I’m allowed to exist as a queer mixed-race center-left female while disagreeing with contemporary dogmatic leftism.

None of this is earth-shattering if you always thought the far-left was ridiculous. I cannot articulate strongly enough, though, how deeply both of these insights felt forbidden to my former self. Hence why O9A’s pro-transgression stance was so critical for me.

Concluding thoughts

This post turned into more of a personal testimonial than I’d first anticipated. Ultimately though, that makes my point the more forcefully: you can have life experiences completely different from the stereotypical O9A practitioner and still find something in O9A that speaks powerfully to you.

Making this element more accessible to others is an important part of why I wrote Nine Keys.

Thoughts? Let me know in the comments.